by Norm De Plume
“… seriously, he was a really great guy, and I’m really going to miss him.”
Thus ended the eulogy at the funeral of the world’s most sarcastic man, which was delivered by the world’s second most sarcastic man. As he walked back down the aisle there was a light and nervous smattering of applause, but it quickly petered out into stunned silence.
But when the world’s second most sarcastic man took his seat, a murmur passed through the crowd. Someone had noticed a tear running down his face. Word spread. Within seconds, many of the assembled mourners stood up to applaud the eulogy, which they now decided had been eloquent and earnest rather then bitingly sarcastic.
Others weren’t so sure. Could it be that the world’s second most sarcastic man actually missed his friend and former mentor? Or were those tears of sarcasm? Or, did it suddenly dawn on him that he now had to deal with the awesome responsibility of being the world’s most sarcastic man?
Journalists asked him about that eulogy for the rest of his life. He would always say “Oh, that? Yeah, I was real sad. I was totally cut up.”